Affordable Golf Club Act


Since many of you have asked my opinion on the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), I thought this would be easier to understand since as it relates to golf.

The Obama administration has just passed a new law titled:
“The Affordable Golf Club Act” declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new set of golf clubs, by April 2014.

These “affordable” golf clubs will cost an average of $1,000-$3,000 each.

This does not include taxes, pull cart, electric cart fees, green fees, membership fees, balls, tees, gloves, range finders, and storage fees,
maintenance, or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase new golf clubs. This new laws ensures that every American can now have
“affordable” golf clubs of their own, because everyone is “entitled” to new
golf clubs. If you purchase your golf clubs before the end of the year, you will receive 4 “free” golf lessons; not including driving range usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone purchases affordable golf clubs, the costs of owning a golf clubs will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their golf clubs will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents’ golf clubs to play until they turn 27; then must purchase their own golf clubs.

If you already have a golf clubs, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can’t).

If you don’t want or don’t need golf clubs, you are required to buy them anyhow. If you
refuse to buy a set or can’t afford them, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase a set or face imprisonment.

Failure to use the golf clubs will also result in fines.

People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to golf courses are not exempt.  Age, skin cancer, bad back, no experience,being spastic nor lack of desire is acceptable excuses for not using your golf

A government review board (that doesn’t know the difference between a hook or a slice) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your golf clubs along with how many people can ride in your golf cart and determine if one is too old or not healthy enough to be able to use their golf clubs.

They will also decide if your golf clubs have out lived their usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories, (like a $500 range finder with slope adjustment) or a newer and more expensive set of golf clubs.

Those that can afford memberships at expensive golf country clubs will be required to do so…it’s only fair.

The government will also decide the name for specific golf clubs:  pitching iron – the Biden; wedge – the ReId; putter – the Pelosi.
Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a new set of golf clubs, they and their families can obtain golf clubs free, at the expense of tax payers.

Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.

If the government can force you to buy health care, they can force you to buy golf clubs….or ANYTHING else.

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About Author

Doug Welch is a long time blogger and owner of Stix Blog.  He is also the code monkey for The Minority Report. Google He also does web design and Development for Wordpress blogs at Cadence Business Group. And can be found on Twitter most of the time.